Sunday, August 21, 2011

a fair judgment

The only opinion I have is not to have an opinion. Opinions are based on judgments, and judgments  are false. I realize that in this realization I have made a judgment on humanity as an entirety...

We were born to analyze as a survival instinct that will eventually spell our doom.

You can command armies, countries, or individuals... But nothing makes you feel as powerful as when you conquer and become in control of yourself.

When you learn that people cannot be defined or labeled. We are too complex and there are too many variables.

I do sometimes believe that judgments are fair to make on someone that you know very well, however even in those circumstances there are many factors and experiences that you are not aware of that shape their decisions, and that person that they are around you may not be the person they see themselves as, or with others.

I was given two examples this weekend of scenarios that could be easily judged, but prove to be harmless upon close examination.

The first was an article I read in a newspaper at Starbucks. There was a lashing out over a french lingerie line marketed for 4-12 year olds. At first I thought, what the hell? But then I thought, what is it about this that I find unsettling? I actually read the article, and saw that in France, this isn't a big deal. It's outside of Europe that takes issue. I also read the owner saying, "These pieces are not transparent, there's no lace, and no bras in my collection. They are professional models." Then I realized that what people took issue with was the marketing for the items. The pictures the company took of the little girls in adult-like poses, with overly made up hair and faces. So, the issue isn't with the company, or with the "lingerie" itself. It was with the photos.

 Then I realized I couldn't judge this article fairly, because my issue wasn't with them, it was with the photographer and the editor of the shoot. Then I also realized that the intent was to sell the product to potential clients, not to "play up pedophiliac fantasies". And my golden rule is when the intent is not there, poor judgment cannot be placed. Once you take something out of context and re-define the meaning of what you're judging, it becomes something else entirely. How is that fair?

I also thought of my own modeling, and how a lot of my pictures can seem sexual but to me, my intent was to produce something unique and artistic and creative. If people took it as sexual, that wasn't my fault because it wasn't my intention. That was their own judgment call.

The issue was that the pictures were there to be accessible to pedophiles. However, if someone gets turned on by the thought of beastiality, should that mean all photos of animals showing affection should be banned? It's in the eye of the beholder, what we find pleasing or arousing. Someone will find something arousing regardless of what it is, or what it's intent is.

It is not up to us to deem something inappropriate, unless we see it in an inappropriate way... And if that is the case then it is not the pictures that are the problem, it is the viewer.

The second example comes from my friend Rob, who just returned from Italy. He said it was a custom there for adults to bring their children to the bars with them. Here, because of how our night live plays out, that would be completely unacceptable and taboo. However, there alcohol isn't a big deal. People don't binge drink, don't act foolish like we do every single week. Instead of looking at these factors, most just judge the outside fact of "bringing children to bars" as wrong. They ignore the whole picture.

What if everything you ever judge is viewed that way? If you take one step back, you can have a neutral take on something? Think about how much more open your world could potentially be, if we let go of these judgments and just lived our own lives.

Every action someone takes, every word they say, has a subconscious reason. A meaning. And someone once told me to take things at face value. You can't over analyze everything, because some things are just that simple.

Just let it go.

























Saturday, August 13, 2011

a flaw

Today, I was watching the first couple episodes of the Planet of the Apes TV series.
The one character was talking about how he couldn’t give up trying to get home, because that was hope, that was it. That was home! What else would you do but try to get home? And that makes perfect sense, because that’s all you know. But then, Brandon mentioned “Or he’ll get sent back into another time.” And I thought about that.
I thought that was a possibility, but once he reached that destination, he would just try to get home from there again. He would try over and over until the law of averages says it’s time for home, or until he’s dead.

Then I thought, if he did succeed and make it home, he’d be deemed a hero. He’d be praised for not giving up, and for following through with his goal with determination... But if he died, he’d be seen as an ingrate that went too far and didn’t respect the laws of the universe and tried to play God.

You can’t always win with everyone, because not everyone has the same perspectives on things...

I thought about humanity, again. I always come to the same conclusion...

To be deemed a failure, you must give up early, but it is overly ambitious to give up too late.
To be young and care-free means needing someone mature and settled, for when you become mature and settled, you are going to want someone young and care-free.
Knowing what you want will make you high maintenance, but don’t fall into the trap of indecisiveness by not knowing what you want at all.
If you close yourself off, you may become mellow and laid-back, but don’t become a zombie. And fear the psycho label for expressing emotion.

You must care too much about the careless, and not enough about what’s important to you.
Tell of all your flaws, so that I may forget mine.
Be that perfect gray area, where there is none.
And be everybody’s definition for everything, because you cannot be yourself when you are human.

To be flawed, to be false. To hate hypocrisy is hypocritical, because it is the human condition.


It is a very strange partition I am at in my existence. Because I know these things, I can’t believe in judgement or definitions. I can’t believe in deeming one person wrong or right. I have to accept and love everyone. But.... Because I know these things, I can’t believe in humanity, and I can’t believe we aren’t flawed.