Sunday, March 6, 2011

a dream

Today I talked with a man who had a dream.
Well, in all actuality, this man had a coma.

He was in a coma for only 10 days. Now, this is where my fascination of brain function kicks in, because when he was in this 10-day coma, he dreamt. He dreamt an entire life of 45 years. He dreamt he got married. He dreamt he had two children.

The writer in me heard this story, and began to instantly whiz out a mini novel.
"Man goes about day-to-day life, starts having random flashbacks of some other life. A past life? Wife tells him, 'Those were just dreams!' Slowly, his world begins to fall apart. Things start fading like ghosts, disappearing. Weird happenings occur, and gradually we come to the climax. He wakes up. He was in a coma all along, and 45 years of his life are gone. He's aged only 10 days, and has to start all over. His wife and his children, the ones telling him the world is a dream, were all in his head."

But the reality this, that is actually what it was like for this man. His coma was very much like my pretend story in the way it played out. Almost exact.

So, it got me thinking...

When do we know we are dreaming? We only know we have dreamt after we have woken up.

Is life a series of dreaming and waking? Or only dreaming?

Time is all man-made. We create the numbers, the lapses. We create the standards of what time should be, how much time should have passed.

I began to wonder... When you dream in a coma, your brain is at it's most basic function. So, does that mean your dream is a reflection of your subconscious only? Your basic needs?

I thought, was his wife in the coma a half of his subconscious, him being the other. The two halves competing over what was reality, what they believed in.

This man had to live 45 years believing his old life was the dream, and then awaken to find out it was the  other way around.

How can you be sure of that after that kind of an experience? How can any of us be?

I will tell of my dreams, and people would say, "Dreams aren't real. They are in your head."

Everything is in my head. So, does it become a matter of levels?

"Well, how do I know I am not dreaming you up right now?"
"Because I know my own life, and I have lived it before you."
"But I don't know that. I only know what I know.  I could have invented you. Your whole history as I know it. I could have imagined your entire life to fit into mine."

The only thing that is certain to ourselves is our own life. Our own experiences. And the only time that is certain is this exact moment right now. We cannot be sure of the past, just as we cannot be sure of the future.

Consider those who suffer from split personalities. They create entire, separate worlds in their heads. They can hear, see, and feel things that are not there to us.

Your brain controls everything, so it can create anything. Once we tap into this, anything is possible.

Going back to the point of different levels... There are ones we allow our other manifestations, or other creations to see (The entire world I let everyone I know (Or have created) see and feel). And there are other creations we keep to ourselves. Hidden deep in our brains, secrets. As though those objects/people are projections of things we have to deal with in ourselves.  As though every person in my world is a projection of a different part of my brain. So, the "imaginary people" are just people I didn't want other people to know about. Parts of my brain that I am hiding from other parts of my brain.

I see certain people in a negative way, because they are a projection of something negative I feel about myself.

I hold other people on a pedestal, because they have characteristics I have fabricated to relate to the ones I like about myself.

Theory? Maybe. It's an idea, yes, but one I seem to always come back to.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

a cult

It has come to my knowledge that an alarming number of people follow this "man" as he explores his own beliefs and ideals, and these people believe so firmly that he has all the answers, that he has actually built a following called "Desteni". 

Some of you may have heard of this "group" of people before, and for those of you that have heard of it and are considering the genuineness of it, this is the purpose of this entry.

I have lost a couple of people that were very dear to me, and meant a lot to me to this group. They are in different stages of following, but both showing similar tell-tale signs of being led into a cult-like state of mind. If I can save any others to salvage any sort of wrongfully placed guilt I have for not doing more to stop this development, then great. If not, at least my voice was heard.

Let it be known that I am not here to name bash, or to tell on anyone. I will not mention these people at all, they are beautiful people. Sometimes, when you don't know who you are or what you want to do to help things, your mind gets weak with exhausting ideas, and even the most insane ones seem rational because only the insane ones seem to make a real difference.

"Desteni" is all about "equality" and "oneness". That is what they claim to be their main philosophy. They want to fully understand what it means to be a human in this world, our impact on it, and what we can do to better ourselves. They believe that bettering yourself will ultimately better the world, and they also believe in an equal money system. They are somewhat comparable to communism, in theory.

Although these ideas sound very nice on paper, the reality is that they are forgetting about the people with mental disabilities, the ones who have an underdeveloped frontal lobe, which controls emotions, and can't rationalize feelings. Or the people who are jaded and have had different upbringings and believe money is power, etc. etc. The list goes on and on. These people can not and will not ever change. Some of them will have children, and raise them on the same morals and beliefs and ideals. To say everyone should believe in the same things, live the same way in the same system, means abolishing all cultures, all religions, and all unique ways of life. 

Now, while this has its benefits (possible abolishing of racism, classes, hate crimes), it also has its extreme fall backs. There will be people that feel forced into a new way of life they do not believe in. They will lose their families history and cultures and norms. You can't just erase years and years of someone else's traditions just because one group of people believe they are right. Also, as previously mentioned, some people are hard-wired, and mentally incapable of believing that the way they think is wrong, and that certain things (racism, classes, hate crimes) shouldn't exist. These are very limited examples, but they give you the gist of my point.

The notion that YOUR idea is better than everyone else's idea, and that you have the right answers and everyone else is stumbling along blind, and that the only way to change the WHOLE WORLD is to fix YOURself,  is something called "Egocentrism", and you can learn about it in Psychology 101. 

For years, I have studied the brain and how it works, how people think. I am also an avid Biology enthusiast, and how organisms work and function. Now, assuming that all I have learned is correct in the universe, most of the prinicples of Desteni can be broken down into textbook case scenarios. 

There are many signs that point to the word "cult" when researching Desteni. Some major ones are:

1. The "main" members live on a secluded ranch that you have to be invited to join.

2. All members have shaved their heads, as a sign of equality. (Can be also seen as conformity.. Forming zombies/robots all with same look/ideals)

3. From what I have researched from members, they will give up things they normally cherished in their lives (relationships, types of music, activities) and see it as a sacrifice they are willing to make for their belief.

4. Members believe ONLY in what is said between the group, and are not open to the opinions and beliefs of others.

5. Members are made to feel that if they don't believe in the messages of Desteni, they have lost their way and need to work on themselves, which only Desteni can do properly. They provide "Life Coaching".

There are also things I have personally experienced that have aided me in this conclusion.
When I was watching Desteni videos, I felt very angry with the world. I felt like I wanted to cause destruction (i.e. running through a store, ripping magazines off the shelves, yelling things like, "You're all blind and know nothing!"), and there was actually a point where I was crouched on the bathroom floor, almost in a tearful rage, tearing at my hair and wanting to shave it all off.
But, I actually THOUGHT about these actions and emotions. Wondered, "Where are they were coming from?" Was it really "the world" and "society"  I was mad at? Or was it ME for not doing more? And if it was, was following this group and shaving my head really going to make a difference? When I truly thought about all this, I stopped watching the videos, and all of those feelings went away...

It seems as though most of the people of Desteni are intelligent, and have a good heart and good intentions to want to fix the world, and they also don't seem to be very educated in social sciences, psychology, etc. They also seem to be the best targets.

The reality is, no one can fix the world, and not one group will ever have the power to even do so. If you really want to make a difference, travel and become worldly. Expand your knowledge, real knowledge, by living and breathing OTHER cultures, other worlds, listening to real, legitimate doctors and psychologists and anthropologists. Get a taste for what is REALLY happening out there, not what you hear about at the safety of your computer. 

People who feel the need to have to fix themselves are never satisfied. They will never feel FIXED, because naturally you can't feel a hundred percent perfect about yourself. It's all about survival, you have a need to better yourself and to develop so you aren't "left behind". If the suffering people in the world had to wait around for us to "fix ourselves" and "be ready" to go out and help others, they would be waiting forever. 

There is no past, or future. Nothing is certain except for THIS moment right now. If you want to help, then DO something, don't just preach about what should be getting done and then blame everyone else for being blind and doing nothing. 

If you are not happy with society, remove yourself from society. Get off the computer, turn off YouTube, and actually make a real difference in someone else's life. You may find that much more rewarding, and what you were looking for.

Anyone who follows Desteni and reads this, will believe there are "x" amount of things wrong with me. That I have been damaged by this event, and this moment, and this memory, and these are all things I have to deal with to better myself, that I do not want equality in the world, that I believe in a failing system, and most importantly, that THEY can help me. (No, these people are not psychiatrists.)

I am whole heartedly and all for equality and I strongly fight for balance in the world. However, balance to me means everyone feels as though they are being heard, they are living for them, and they are who they want to be. That's real equality. Conforming to someone else's beliefs is not equality, it's a dictatorship. I am not wrong, I am me. I do what I think is right to help others, just as others do what they feel is right.

I am not saying these people are wrong, or that Desteni didn't actually help any of them, I am saying that no one has all of the answers. Although Desteni may have helped you, it can not save the world. We are a collective people, all individuals. Making everyone fit into one group is not the answer. I am NOT attacking Desteni, or its followers. I am merely expressing my own beliefs and opinions, as I have the right to do.

For more information on Desteni, you can view their website here:

They have a link to their videos with the caption:
"The information presented comes from the Interdimensional Portal who is able to create a physical-presence in the body of any expression on earth or any dimensional being (dead and non-physical beings). The woman's name is Sunette a.k.a. Winged."

The videos I have watched are on YouTube, and you can view them here:

Watch at your own risk!