Tuesday, April 22, 2014

of oneness

Truly, the highest form of bliss is the nature of ignorance. It seems the more knowledge I acquire and wisdom I expel, the more aware and conscious I become, the more maddening it all seems. Some days fill me with such longing, to share, to expand, to grow... To settle the score with myself and ground and center, digging my roots deep into the ground and stretching my arms throughout the universe until I come full circle and consume the entire earth. To become one with everything, to fall into myself and extract all of my flaws, plucking and picking and throwing them all away, blowing them away for the wind to dispose of. It storms and it thrashes and it tears them apart. To reach nirvana in eternal meditation, to embrace my humanity but to also surpass it and move beyond, see beyond, be beyond what we have all succumbed to settle for.

I want to be alive in the fullest sense of the word, with only positive affect on those that interact with me and whom I interact with. To forgo and overcome the ego.  To recognize and be unconditionally proud of my impact on all life.

The more I long and want, the more I see it is the longing and wanting that I must avoid. The idea of desire is setting these dreams outside of myself, when they instead sit nestled inside of me like an innocent, coddled child.  There is nothing to obtain, there is nothing to gain, only being and being in this moment. There is nothing to look forward to, there is only now to embrace, only now to own up to.  Want is a simplistic human need, for to want is to cast another form of judgement on myself. Surpass the ego! Want no more and be that eternal prize of completeness, of oneness.

The mysteries of the universe will enthrall and defy me, move me, stop me, will fill me until I overflow and weep, until I am overcome with gasping, choking disbelief in it's beauty, in it's perfection. I love it with everything that I am, and it will forever consume all of me.

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