Thursday, January 13, 2011

a realization

An irrevocable hunger drove a force that night. A force unrecognizable by her young naive eyes, mind, and self. She self-pitied, like only she could. Her reprimand was short and subtle, but noticable, and it took her world by force. Her world...the ones that loved her. In the absence of it all, a thing or two, she learned. Contentment and exaltation did not come hand in hand for her momentarily, but that moment alone was worth her entire life. When it ended, as it did, the result was a euphoric great so intense it could not be taken for anything else. Certainly not a reality-based dismal high that dropped you after a spell of temporary satisfaction. Oh, but a spell it was, and more! Changing her every decision, choice, outlook, action, thought. It was from a new perspective, she saw the world from a different viewpoint. That of which was truly absolute.

The concrete immortality of this authentisity, the tangible universe she now arrived upon, was as elusive as any immense life changing. This new wordly veneration predisposed her to see herself in the same way. Loveable. Interchangeable. She was still herself, of course, for one does not go against oneself when they don't stick to their first natural thought. By changing them, you are recognizing your innerself, and thoughts, and better suiting them to grant you eternal satifsaction.

 Ah, to be a better person, and learning so merely from the usual stages, implications, complications, entertainments, oppugnations, and dispositions that come from life. With many others to thank, of course. It's like your guide to the handbook, the instructions for instructions.

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